A Great Escape

It's been a hive of activity here, working on commissions for Christmas for dear customers, and in between painting a handful of special Christmas decorations.  In the midst of all this I began to feel like I needed to get out, escape.  Do you ever have that feeling?

Previous to feeling like this, I'd had a few emails about the Knitting and Stitching show in Harrogate, but up until last Thursday I had only half heartedly contemplated going.  However, that morning as the sun rose up over the crags, I had a sudden urge for adventure, to go off by myself somewhere for a day.  As luck would have it, my other half was working from home and was available to do the school run, so I gathered my belongings and drove off to the station to get my tickets.

It was a crisp, bright day.  Perfect for adventure.  Boarding the train I felt a sudden rush of good feelings.  We whizzed through pretty countryside, the rolling hills lay tinged with gold in the morning light and eventually we got to Leeds where I had to change trains.

Wow.

Such noise, bustle and life!  Such crowds, comings and goings of trains pulling in and out, tannoy calls, the aroma of fresh coffee and toasties, the rumble of suitcase wheels on the tarmac, the unmistakeable smell of the trains, a shriek of a whistle...every nerve ending in my body was suddenly alive, tingling with the delight of doing something new and different to the ordinary.  

As our train pulled away from Leeds, I got to thinking, and I realised that my world had become small and predictable.  In fact, bubble like.  I had my routines down to a fine art, I did the school run, I went to the supermarket, did chores and household tasks...and I hasten to add, I'm not complaining about any of this.  I love my family, my work and my home.  But somewhere along the way this routine had become my lifestyle, and the person who I used to be had got lost underneath a never ending list of 'To Do's' and demands.

Sophie Digard scarves, at the Selvedge stand

Eventually I arrived at Harrogate, a sparkling day pregnant with possibility.  On the train I had messaged some friends to tell them of my plans, and it just so happened my dear friend Marna was travelling to the show too, so we arranged to meet up!  Neither of us had had any idea the other was going, and as we hadn't seen each other since June, we jumped at the chance of a catch up.

Serendipitous things kept happening, when I got to the show (minus ticket) I asked a guide where I might purchase one.  A dear lady with a group of friends overheard me asking, and offered me a spare they were trying to sell - so I got in for the amazing price of £10, as opposed to £17!


Marna and I wandered around the halls admiring the exhibits and purchasing some gorgeous things.  The Knitting and Stitching show is great for inspiration, it fills up my well completely and I came home bursting to the brim with new ideas and plans.  After creating a brand new type of mixed media work last month, I felt reassured that I would be working on more things like that next year, the tactile element of mixed media work delights me and it's definitely going to be featuring more in what I do.

Felted necklace by Felt by Bridget

The day was a tonic.  Marna and I talked non stop about all kinds of things; our work, marketing, selling online, and then things more closer to the heart, our struggles, being this age and the challenges it brings.  I have resolved to do things like this more often now - my other half is very supportive of this luckily, and between us we can arrange child care and such like.  As much as I like where we live, and love what I do I am seeing that it is essential to my well being to do things for myself like this, to have these times either alone or with friends where I can reconnect with myself and forget about all the other stuff.  I'm grateful for my life, for all the opportunities, but there are also parts of my life that have slowly evolved and absorbed me without me even noticing.  Routine and habit can eat away at us, leave us dull and listless.

Tomorrow I am going to Birmingham to see my friend Kate Brazier, a talented artist who is exhibiting at the Etsy Christmas market.  Our friend Andrea Berry who is a textile artist and makes the most amazing bags, is meeting me at the station and we are going to shop, chat, shop, chat and then later on the three of us will go for a bite to eat and a Christmas drink and talk about all the things that light us up.  Whenever I see these girls, I always leave their company feeling buoyed, illuminated and happy.   I've also booked a workshop at Hope and Elvis next May, where I will be learning how to solder with Di T Foster - I can't wait to try something new!

Practising gratitude for the small things, every day.  Planning more adventures, dreaming up new art.  Writing more, making time for self care, more yoga and sitting quietly. 

Have a lovely weekend.
Julia x

Monday Morning Ramblings

The sun is shining and I am sitting in my new studio, which sits nestled at the bottom of the garden next to the river.  I have filled the bird feeder up with sunflower hearts and all manner of winged ones are descending to breakfast.  I am amazed by the strength and resilience of them, they are beautiful and welcome company now I no longer have Pig to chat to all day.

I am remembering a peaceful week when we stayed in Norfolk.  It was half term and our whole family went to stay in a big house that was a stones throw from the beach at Old Hunstanton.  It was a time to be still, to listen to the shifting seasons, to inhale the tangy air that came in on sea breezes across the salt marshes.  It was a time to heal the tired parts of ourselves, to enjoy being together, to laugh and eat good food, to reminisce.

I find Autumn a curious season, it is blessed with the brightest of blue skies and drowsy mists.  There is a low, bright sun, then torrential rains and swirling winds.  It is a goodbye, it is a letting go.  It is a time to turn inward and listen to our soul.   Nature drenches the country with colour; vibrant golds, reds and chestnuts and then there are faded lime greens, acidic lemon yellows, soft rose pinks - it's breathtaking.

These last few days I have found myself battling a deep gloom, yet not for the first time.  After months of trying every herbal and holistic remedy under the sun I finally went to see my doctor (a couple of years ago now) and accepted some good old western medicene to help my body deal with the changes this time of a woman's life brings.  I suffer from fatigue, migraines, and moments of not knowing myself.  Last week I struggled to work as I had what a nurse friend of mine called a panic attack - the palpitations were the most worrying as I had never experienced such a thing before.  All of these things never used to happen to me, I am a generally fit and healthy soul who eats nourishing good whole foods, I don't smoke but I like a gin and a glass of good wine, I'm a regular person not a perfect one.  I sense change, and like Autumn, I sense that I am receeding into myself and beginning to let go of something.  I hesitated to share this here as I fear it is a taboo subject in a way (anything to do with emotions and hormones is), but I decided I would.  Social media and the internet in general is very good at showing us how to ahve polished, perfect, impossible lives which we often aspire to.  I know that I have a nice job and am lucky enough to have a studio of my own to work in, and I can imagine what pictures this might conjure up for some people, and I suppose I want to say that I'm normal, I'm just like you.  I'm 42 and sometimes I find life hard and my hormones are to blame as they shift and change and I struggle to understand who I am.

I want you to know that its ok, if you feel like this, its ok - you're not on your own.  I sought support and feel better, but I still have days where its hard to get out of bed, am deblilitated by crushing migraines, fatigue and depression.

I find yoga helps.  I attend a wonderful class every tuesday morning with a brilliant bunch of women who have become friends.  I also practice at home on my mat, and try to remember to be mindful as much as possible. 

So, I sit here this morning, and I am counting my gratitudes.  I am grateful for my friends, a support network which begins with friends in my village here and which stretches out across the country.  I am grateful for my warm home, my family, the food we eat.  I am grateful to hear the sound of water near my door as I work.  I am grateful for big sunsets, Autumn colour and the chance to wear a bright winter coat and warm boots.  I am grateful for this journey, for all the parts of it.

I know its not just me, I know that we each walk past people in the street and none of us can know what is going on inside of them.  In light of this weekend's awful tragedy in Paris, it brings it home to me even more to be kinder, to smile at a stranger, to pay a compliment, to offer to help.  Such small acts can make a day - last week I was shopping and feeling particularly lousy after a nasty outbreak of eczema, and the man at the counter complimented me on my brooch and then wished me a nice day.  He probably had no idea how much his words lifted my spirits.  Little acts of kindness like that, have the power to go a long, long way. 

I think its time to be more honest, to be more open and caring.  Our fast paced world leaves little or no time for empathy and listening as we constantly tune in to devices, our faces fixed to a screen instead of on a loved one.  I am practising this too, turning off the laptop, leaving the ipad alone until my daughter has gone to bed.  I want her to know a Mum who has time for her and I want to remember her laughter and her conversations.  I am not always successful, I am afraid I am as addicted to technology as many others are, but its a practice.  I am slowing down in more ways than one, honouring my body, and my soul.  Listening.  Deeply listening, beyond the pings of emails and tweets, of Facebook and Instagram.

Please take time this week to look at the sky, just look up and be glad for something.  Make time for yourself, for your family and your dear ones. 

I think from the title of this blog, you might have expected it to be an unravelling of thoughts and I have written without pausing, just let the words come, so it has been that!

I hope you have a nice week, wherever you are in the world. 

Sending you love,
Julia x

Island Life

A snapshot of my summer....

Two weeks on an island, staying at a house nestled in the countryside with views over to the solent beyond the trees.  It was peaceful, restorative, and beautiful.

There was architecture and great old buildings to admire...

The island was colourful, yet slow paced.  It was contemporary yet traditional.  We enjoyed lazy beach days, long breakfasts in beach-side cafes and discovering wonderful shops in the towns and villages.

Discovering surprises around each corner...

Steps leading down to crystal clear water...the sea was so beautiful and constantly inviting...

The views were amazing...

We could have stayed forever.

Holidays are sometimes for realising dreams.  For years I have wanted to go kayaking, and on our last day on the island, I did.  The sun was hot, it was the most peaceful feeling as we gently made our way over the waves.  We sailed over forests of seaweed, long burgundy ribbons swaying in the currents below.  The water was so very clear and I found myself often gazing over the side of our kayak, to the sandy bottom below where sunlight rippled across rocks and sand, through seaweed and shoals of fish.

Home now, we are so happy to have spent such a relaxing and nourishing time together on the island.
As summer starts to ebb away, work begins again, and normal life is resumed, yet those memories of a beautiful place remain.