I have had a strong feeling for a while that I need to try a new way of living my life. It has felt kind of dull, static, and in need of a change. I am not really one for new year resolution's as such, as they are doomed to failure as the expectations are often too high, but I can manage a few new habits that I can work on each day, gentle changes that I can incorporate into my life to make it feel happier and fuller.
I spent much of 2015 procrastinating and feeling wistful for something, I know not what exactly...just a feeling that there had to be more to it all, and in the midst of feeling like this I stopped looking after myself, choosing to stuff these unpleasant feelings down with food and so I ended the year much heavier than I have ever been, feeling sluggish, with poor skin and stomach aches and feeling worn out from the struggle with fluctuating hormones, migraines and all the other stuff being a 40 odd year old woman can bring.
Reading up on these things has given me greater clarity and I felt relieved to know I wasn't going mad, it was all perfectly normal for me to feel like making changes and it's not just me that feels like this. Phew.
I have started taking some vitamins to support my body, as well as flaxseed oil to help keep my omega 3s levels happy. A vitamin D spray was also purchased in an attempt to stave off the winter blues which has been something that happens every winter in memory to me. I am not a person who enjoys the dark, cold climate, especially this bloody awful misty, wet and soggy weather we have been experiencing here in Yorkshire.
So January dawned, a bright, sparkly new year full of possibility. It felt like a good time to take stock, to decide what to do next, and have some kind of direction rather than wandering through life like a car with a broken sat-nav.
My first quest was to become healthier again, to start eating better and exercising every day. Yes, that's right. Every day. I am very much an all or nothing person so it made sense to me to embrace this and create daily goals for myself. So I set out to do yoga at home (check out Yoga with Adriane on You Tube), or take a walk at lunch time, maybe some resistance work with my kettle bells or a good workout with a new Davina McCall DVD. Just half an hour to an hour every day. Totally do-able if I commit to it and allow for it to be a part of my day rather than an added extra that I try to squeeze in somewhere.
The second thing was to paint every day.
I have been following August Wren over on Facebook and through her Instagram and blog for a while now, and she is a most inspiring soul. A recent post she wrote could have been written by me, it was remarkable how similar we are both feeling about things!
So, I am joining her with a painting a day, and some friends and I have also started our own hashtag #paintdrawcreate366 for this year as a way to be accountable for getting this done. It seems much easier to blag off if there is only you to answer to, but if you have friends who are doing it too then you don't want to let them down, you get on with it to prove to yourself and to them that you won't give up here.
If you like, you can join us. It doesn't matter what you do - paint, draw, sew, knit, if its creative - do it - and share pics of your makes with us on Instagram using the hashtag #paintdrawcreate366. Already there are a few people adding their art to the stream, and it's good to have a group of people to follow as it's also very inspiring watching them progress.
The third thing is, to write.
Two years ago this February, I was away in north Norfolk for a few days, and I had this absolute gem of an idea for a story.
I never wrote it.
Two years later, and that story is still in my head, except, it isn't because I forgot most of the plot and moved on to different stories that I still haven't written.
I have a deep desire to write a book, a good story book. This year, I am making daily writing time - if it's just ten minutes, or an hour it doesn't matter. I am writing in my journal, on my blog, short creative writing pieces on my laptop. It's all good practice and with each day I hope I will get a bit better at it, and all the ramblings might actually lead somewhere.
It feels good to feel positive again, to have a focus each day. Almost like a school timetable I am structuring my days to accomodate these pleasing pursuits, discarding things that no longer fit in or work for me, and including ones that do. I am still painting, I am still working and illlustrating but I am also doing other stuff that I had forgotten I enjoyed so much.
Your life, your choices.