It became increasingly clear as I finished work on the scarf that I was capable of creating a totally unique item for my daughter that I could feel very excited and proud of - so where was this feeling when I was painting...? Where was that feeling when I was comparing what I did with what others had done and finding myself feeling somewhere at the bottom of the heap, rather than glowing at the top of it?
Today, my friend Niki serendipitously passed on a link to a video by the lovely artist Wyanne - and I let her words sink in (so timely and necessary) about how we shouldn't try and be anyone else - how art becomes hard when we try and emulate or compare ourselves with others. Inevitably we have to acknowledge the talent that lives inside ourselves, and grab it with both hands and thrust it out there into the big wide world to show what we are capable of, what is possible when we believe in our own gift.
So, when I hold the scarf I made and think, yes-I did that, I didn't copy anyone, or try and make it like anyone elses - I chose the colour, how long it would be, to put flowers on just there at the corner like that, I know that I hold something beautiful and unique that was created with skill and from the heart - I know that I can apply this process to my art when Im feeling challenged or overwhelmed.
To simply remember that 'I am me' and that my art is 'me' - to go inside of myself and paint what feels the need to be expressed in my own style...this is the only way to do it.